Break it up

Sometimes in relationships we find that the relationships is bah. We care about the person that we are in a relationship but at the same time are seeking something more. So in laymen terms you are settling and should end it for good reason.

Why

When you are dating going out in the world looking for a partner you are looking for someone who gives you butterflies in your gut. If the person your with doesn’t give you these feelings still its time to move on. The thing you have to remember is its OK to be single, some people are afraid of being alone so they stay in these dragged out relationships that wear them down when they could be out finding the real someone special. By letting someone go that isn’t perfect for you doors will open to people who more align with what you are looking for. This will make sure you are happier longer.

Example

A prime example of wasting time is a female friend of mine whose boyfriend just isn’t right for her. A few weeks ago she was texting me late at night how she didn’t’ really love him as much as she thought and doesn’t think he is right for her. So right there red flags should be going off for her, let him go. Though her boyfriend has a great job and is a decent guy hes not everything she has been dreaming of. If she lets him go I guarantee she finds a guy for her that is more aligned to her standards and will make her happy. Because there is no point staying with somebody who is just taking time away from who you should really be with.

Key

A key tool that I have used now a few times is to set a timeline. When I start a new relationship I give this person a set amount of time to make their impression on me. Sure the last few people who I dated were really into me and we got along great but there was something missing. So when I reached the end of my timeline and think are they worth spending more time with? And at 3 months I couldn’t see a future or I was having doubts I let them go. Believe me it hurts it sucks breaking up with someone who your conformable with but its worth the heart ache to find a soul mate. I know this worked for me and it can work for you too.

 

So keep your head up and know love is out there to find. Please share with your friends stuck in a nowhere relationship.

 

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Sharing

The most important thing in a relationship is sharing. Sharing the feelings you have for each other and feeling like you have each others back. I recently had a situation that happened in my relationship that brought things to light where sharing would have alleviated a lot of the tension that was going on.

My girlfriend recently has been going through a hard time where she doesn’t seem to want to hang out and have me come over to here parents house. I would ask what she is doing and she avoids my texts till its real late or just avoids me asking to come over. So me being human I start thinking she is cheating on me or that she isn’t very interested.

Well yesterday when I was over at her house there was a vicious argument between her parents with an abundance of yelling. She quickly gets ready and practically pushes me out the door to go to dinner. On the ride she explains about how her parents are stressed about things that are going on in their life right now and are really fighting a ton. She goes on to tell me that this has been going on a bunch and it is embarrassing for her to talk about  and she just hides away till it’s over. Which I then inquire about this happening more and she said it has been happening as long as she can remember and didn’t want me to have to be there for it.

So what can be learned from this? If she would have just shared this with me and let me in I wouldn’t have like our relationship was over. I did reassured her that I am not judging her and that being her boyfriend I support her. Relationships are all about trust and knowing the other person has your back. You need to let the other person in your life know things so you can deal with them together and not as a lone solider. Sure it may be scary and you may thing they won’t like what you tell them and if they don’t they probably aren’t right for you.

So share away with your love and let them know whats going on in your life. Its been a long week of work and I am going to go chill. Please share with your friends and have a good one.

Bonus: A great way to share is to just chill and watch some  Movies

Mental Health

This is not going to be a long post but more of a short  food for thought thing.

With all the recent things happening in the news with gun violence and mental health issues you should be aware of things your other half is doing. The purpose of this post isn’t about the whole guns are bad argument and we need to do this and that but about mental health. I will say as a legal gun owner I am open to longer wait times and what not but that is another topic.

My buddies girlfriend recently decided to take herself off of depression medication and now is looking to buy an AR-15………….. Seriously this is what problems are made of. I have tried telling my friend that this isn’t a good idea because she has family history with this stuff, but I am not sure how in-depth he will go. Seeing she is in the reserves it wouldn’t be hard to get her hands on something like this. So this poses a real big problem.

What I want you to take away from this is that you should gauge the mental health of your other half and discuss it. Many cases of mental health issues go undetected and people never know whats going on. No many of us aren’t health care professionals but doesn’t mean you can’t try to see if your partner needs to seek help. And in the case of buying a weapon that could harm themselves or others you should bring out  the tough love and tell them no. It’s hard to think these things about the people we care about but if we are going to change the world we need to start with ourselves.

 

Here is a link to books on amazon about depression and mental illness: Depression ,

 

Please share and try to get educated on things such as mental health and depression. Hope everyone stays safe and the story above is just part of one side of someones life. I am hoping to help guide this person to do the right things.