Sometimes in relationships we find that the relationships is bah. We care about the person that we are in a relationship but at the same time are seeking something more. So in laymen terms you are settling and should end it for good reason.
When you are dating going out in the world looking for a partner you are looking for someone who gives you butterflies in your gut. If the person your with doesn’t give you these feelings still its time to move on. The thing you have to remember is its OK to be single, some people are afraid of being alone so they stay in these dragged out relationships that wear them down when they could be out finding the real someone special. By letting someone go that isn’t perfect for you doors will open to people who more align with what you are looking for. This will make sure you are happier longer.
A prime example of wasting time is a female friend of mine whose boyfriend just isn’t right for her. A few weeks ago she was texting me late at night how she didn’t’ really love him as much as she thought and doesn’t think he is right for her. So right there red flags should be going off for her, let him go. Though her boyfriend has a great job and is a decent guy hes not everything she has been dreaming of. If she lets him go I guarantee she finds a guy for her that is more aligned to her standards and will make her happy. Because there is no point staying with somebody who is just taking time away from who you should really be with.
A key tool that I have used now a few times is to set a timeline. When I start a new relationship I give this person a set amount of time to make their impression on me. Sure the last few people who I dated were really into me and we got along great but there was something missing. So when I reached the end of my timeline and think are they worth spending more time with? And at 3 months I couldn’t see a future or I was having doubts I let them go. Believe me it hurts it sucks breaking up with someone who your conformable with but its worth the heart ache to find a soul mate. I know this worked for me and it can work for you too.
So keep your head up and know love is out there to find. Please share with your friends stuck in a nowhere relationship.
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Hey readers sorry for the big break, I have been working some crazy hours at my job and haven’t had time to write.
I would like to address the idea of cheating on someone stemming from the last post about how to catch a cheater. So in some religions it is talked about cheating on your husband or wife is deemed as a sin. So you may be non religious at all and thinking so why shouldn’t I cheat?
One of the key reasons you shouldn’t cheat on your better half is just basically not being a scum bag. The reasons of cheating are pretty simple there is someone else you find attractive physically or something else that revs your engine that your significant other doesn’t do but why? If you are going to cheat on them why not call them up and break up? It takes about 3 minutes of your time to just call somebody up and say well its over. That way you are not a scum bag and just a regular person moving on.
Another reason you shouldn’t cheat on somebody is you don’t want that cheater scum bag reputation. People can get a bad rap in the dating world as a cheater and most people won’t want anything to do with you. If anybody knows that they are going to invest their time in you for you just to stab them in that back they most likely won’t be making that risk.
Third and last quick reason why you shouldn’t cheat on your significant other is…….. Karma. I have seen it many times that things that people do now bite them in the ass later. You could be happy now screwing with a few people but later in life it could come back to haunt you when your sig other that you’re in love with is out shagging all the strange in the world while your home with their kids. All of this is just food for thought and to help you think about it before you end up ruining yours and some bodies life.
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The on thing that nobody want’s to learn about their better half is that they have been with someone else. I have had the displeasure of this happening to me a few times so I am going to lay down some things to look for that will help catch a cheater.
- Blame You
Normally something that people who are two timing you are going to do is push the suspicions away from them. In most cases they will do is accuse you of some moral wrong doing in the relationship so that they feel you are not thinking they are cheating. I myself think this sounds crazy but after having an ex claim I was cheating and I must not be into her then turned around and cheated it made sense.
2 No Answer
So something that is also really common is not having any contact from your partner for a while. Sure there are other cases that this will happen but it could point to cheating. If the person you are in a relationship is always answering calls and texts and on their phone and all of a sudden for the past few days it takes longer to respond that’s a sign. This points to their time that was used to answer you turned into time to answer someone else. A few times this happened to me where a time I would usually text my girlfriend I suddenly couldn’t get a hold of her because she was busy. this sends up red flags because she was never to busy to answer before and I never knew she got home from work so what was she doing? This leads me to the next section…..
3 Trust your gut
If something feels off in your relationship you need to trust it. Now I am a pretty trusting person and if you are like me you think the best of the people who you are dating. But on the other side of the coin if weird things are happening you should start to evaluate what is going on. When I had a few clues and had that feeling I confronted my ex and she ended up denying it and her answers didn’t add up. That is when I knew for sure she was cheating.
This was one that I should have picked up on that I didn’t. If you are having regular sex with your partner and then none there is something up. In my case it was “oh im tired” and a various of other excuses that never happened before. Especially when we used to make love before she went to work all the time. The reason for this is the person cheating is feeling guilty for what they are doing and can’t stand to be with you that way.
The number one way to tell if someone is cheating is their phone. IF you have access to your partners phone and your suspect them of cheating it’s probably on their phone. Most people slip up and forgot to deleted some message or some picture that is incriminating. Also things that you can look at are what they are liking on Facebook or who is commenting on all their posts. These things all tie together the point of if your other half tweaks when you just pick their phone up they are hiding something and you shouldn’t just brush it off.
I hope this was somewhat helpful and can help others from prolonging the pain of being put on. I have had this happen a few times and it is not fun. So keep your eyes open and try not to let love blind you so much.
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A situation that we can get ourselves into once in a while is a long distance relationship. For the most part I think these are kind of pointless unless it’s for something like short-lived like college or something where it wasn’t like a permanent distance. But if it was how do you do that?
Something that is great about the age of technology is how connected we can be with everyone around us. If you find yourself in a long distance relationship you can call text and face time your significant other and still get to interact with them. Apps like snap chat let you share all your little moments of life that you would like to share with someone special that you would probably zombie out together on at home anyway. They even make sex toys now a days controlled by your other half so phone sex is kinda a thing of the past.
A best practice for people living apart but staying together are frequent visits. I had a friend that dated a girl who lived 5 hours away and the way he said the magic stayed alive as that he visited her as much as he could. By visiting her he instilled that he still cared and that feeling of longing for attention and affection wasn’t getting time to boil over. But there is still one trick that supersedes every rule in the book.
You most importantly need to trust their person you are in a relationship with. The same way relationships work in normal relationships work with far apart ones. If you trust your significant other you know that they will always be there for you no matter what. I think that the worst thing you can do is worry about what the other person is doing all the time and say there are members of the opposite sex always around. People that care about you will set boundaries and make it known that they have someone one back home that cares about them.
Well that is my tidbit for the day. Thanks for all the new followers and sorry I haven’t been posting started a new job that is kicking my butt! Please share with your friends and have a safe one.
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Something I ran into through my years of dating was if I should change my Facebook status or not. It’s usually the same scenario you meet someone and hit it off now you’re dating and they add you online and you feel the pressure to change your status to show your taken. What I am going to tell you is don’t just jump on the band waggon.
The reason I think you shouldn’t just go change your status is if it’s a fresh relationship you don’t know this person that well why jump the gun and tell the world about it. I think people all too often want to say hey look at me and don’t think about if it doesn’t work out right away. Nobody likes to see the person in and out of relationships for the next six months so why not leave a little mystery. You can just change it to not show anything about a relationship status. This way you don’t look like the loser that can’t keep someone happy or some skank.
Some may think your trying to hide something or you’re not proud to date them but sometimes people knowing ruins things. For example I dated a girl that I worked with once that became a superior to me and could have lost her job if work found out we were dating. You need to think about how social media changes things around and could ruin a relationship for the two of you.
That is my two cents on Facebook and statuses for now. And especially with all the negative news on Facebook maybe your better with less media than not!
Thanks for reading and following share with your friends!!
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So we have all been there thinking do I say those three words or not? I was actually just there myself in my current relationship and let me tell you it felt great to get it off my chest.
I am not sure when this game of chicken of being the first one to say I love you to someone, but seems like that’s always the case. Everyone is always playing around it thinking how do you end the night? Do they feel the same way? What if they don’t? The truth of the matter is who cares?
I think no matter what if you are feeling in love with someone tell them. If your relationship is that much tilted in your way where you feel more than them then they don’t deserve you. Don’t you want to be in a relationship where there is as much love as your putting out coming back to you? I think its good to just say it and see what happens let love ring!!!
Alright that is my public service announcement for the day! So sack up and tell someone special how you feel.
……. ohh and by the way my special someone said I know me too.
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Something my college prep teacher once said was never to room with your best friend, has stuck with me all these years. Hanging out with someone all the time is fine and dandy but when they put their tooth-brush on the sink and leave a mess that bothers you it might not be a good thing. That is why I think it is important to always test living with someone you plan on marrying before you tie the knot.
Sure many people are doing this now a days but I still hear about people being old school and waiting. A key example would be my friend’s sister. She married her husband not ever-living long-term together and she can’t stand a lot of things her husband does. Sure there is love there but there also is stress that might not have been if she knew that living with this person was going to not be so pleasant. This just shows the old way isn’t always the best.
With the divorce rate being so high lately something needs to change. Why not trial your living together to see if it will work being with this person night and day. There may be things that you learn about your significant other by being so close all the time that when you went home just weren’t present. Kind of like I have a habit of doing weird things when I’m asleep like steal all the pillows on the bed.
So try it out or not but think of how expensive a divorce is and maybe a few months living in sin is worth saving the aggravation later..
Hey readers thanks again for the views and share with your friends…. Also if you could comment about anything you would like to read about that would be cool. If I have some knowledge on it I would be glad to share, or try to find out for you.
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