Living Together Before Marriage

Something my college prep teacher once said was never to room with your best friend, has stuck with me all these years. Hanging out with someone all the time is fine and dandy but when they put their tooth-brush on the sink and leave a mess that bothers you it might not be a good thing. That is why I think it is important to always test living with someone you plan on marrying before you tie the knot.

Sure many people are doing this now a days but I still hear about people being old school and waiting. A key example would be my friend’s sister. She married her husband not ever-living long-term together and she can’t stand a lot of things her husband does. Sure there is love there but there also is stress that might not have been if she knew that living with this person was going to not be so pleasant. This just shows the old way isn’t always the best.

With the divorce rate being so high lately something needs to change. Why not trial your living together to see if it will work being with this person night and day. There may be things that you learn about your significant other by being so close all the time that when you went home just weren’t present. Kind of like I have a habit of doing weird things when I’m asleep like steal all the pillows on the bed.

So try it out or not but think of how expensive a divorce is and maybe a few months living in sin is worth saving the aggravation later..

Hey readers thanks again for the views and share with your friends…. Also if you could comment about anything you would like to read about that would be cool. If I have some knowledge on it I would be glad to share, or try to find out for you.

My Ad: Amazon is doing some deals like a huge warehouse sale check it out

https://amzn.to/2GKzwNk

Dating a Single Parent

So once upon a time I dated the “hot” girl at work that had a couple of kids. Going into this relationship I was the typical young dumb 20 something that didn’t think about the commitment that went into dating someone with children. Here are a few things that may help you if you’re considering dating someone who comes with a few extra human beings.

The first thing I learned was that no matter what happens for the most part your always second. Kids take up a lot of a parents time and they usually come first. If you can’t deal with dropping kids off at school and making sure there is always a baby sitter then dating somebody with kids is not for you. You need to realize going into this relationship that these kids mean the world to this person you and they need care all the time. So you are an important person in their life you just aren’t thee most important.

From the first lesson you can learn the second thing I found out quick, you aren’t going to go out often. When I dated this person I was around 22 so prime drinking age. I would want to go to the bars or out partying with my friends and she wanted to stay home. What I didn’t at the time was she had a job to do as a mother and going out all the time didn’t fit into that. So if you are cool with Netflix and chilling at home a majority of the time you could withstand this relationship.

Another thing that is important that you need to talk about is how the kids will view you? Are you the new mommy or daddy? Or just Frank mommy’s friend? This also involves if you are going to discipline the kids at all. This is something that people can go either way on. Don’t hit my kid, don’t yell at them, and so on. What I ended up being was mommy’s boy friend and the adult in the situation so it was agreed upon that I would correct them  if I saw them doing something that wasn’t right. I think this would have been a good situation if we kept going because the kids did have their own father and I wasn’t there to replace him.

One of the last things you should know about being in a relationship with someone with kids issss…. the kids will grow on your and if you  break up with this person your breaking up with them too. We all know we don’t go into something hoping for it to fail but in the case of breaking a kids heart you need to think about all the outcomes. My exes kids end up messaging me here and there but for the most part I think I was the one that lost my little friends.

So that’s it for this post so I don’t end up rambling on about an ex lover. I would like to thank all the people who started following the blog and urge everyone to share with your friends.

My Ad: So I was originally against having an Alexa in my house but since I had one I don’t know how I went without. Here is a link for them and they are on sale this week

https://amzn.to/2qfgfgN

 

 

 

Holiday Hot Hand

So this is a really quick post that I forgot to add-on Easter….

So if your on any of those dating apps and you don’t always go on, it is important to log in on a holiday. I have found and you can do some research that people get lonely on holidays when they don’t have that someone special to share with family and friends. So what ends up happening is there is an influx of traffic on all the dating sites. New users pop up and you need to be one of the first to get their attention.

ok I won’t drag this on just know you have a better chance of matching with people when more are swiping right. And you don’t know today you could catch the tail end of Dyngus day rush.

So have a good one and have fun swiping. Please share with your friends!

Bonus: Here are some fancy things for your phone hopefully to keep you swiping right!!!

Cheap things to do

So we have all had those times where we are broke as a joke without a nickel for a coke, but still would like to hang out with that special. So I came up with  small list of things that I have done that got me to hang with a special person but at the same time save some bucks.

Drive and Jam

Who doesn’t love to drive around and jam to some good tunes. I always loved cruising on some country back roads just talking and getting to know somebody while also sharing music we love. If it was somebody really special I would set up music I wanted to hear that made me think about them to let them know how I felt. And lastly you can always find a place to “park” to make out or whatever you choose ;).

 

Buy a Puzzle

Puzzles are relatively cheap and if you get one that is big it can take a while to complete. I recently completed a month-long journey putting a puzzle together with my girlfriend. By doing this there was always something to do after dinner and at the end of putting it together you can glue it and have a cool picture to keep.

 

Stream and Chill

This one was bound to come up right? If your kinda a movie buff like me you probably like to watch movies a lot. By picking one of these services (Hulu, Amazon, Netflix, etc) that you probably already have you can just hang out and share your favorite shows with your partner. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t like an excuse to cuddle on the couch with that someone special.

Local Site See

So many places have a lot of cool touristy attractions that locals don’t always go see cause it’s not new and exciting. I encourage you to find someplace that is a nice local attraction to take some cheesy pictures and maybe learn something. It’s always cool to make a unique memory and seeing something like Niagara Falls will blow your mind. (Yea if you have never seen the falls I encourage you to do so its pretty sweet. Even if it’s a vacation stop you won’t be disappointed.

 

Alright all that is my quick list of cheap stuff to do for a date night. I hope you got a new idea of something fun to do. As always share with your friends and have a safe one….I have a puzzle to finish..

 

Bonus: Here are some puzzles on amazon for a starter https://amzn.to/2Jd9ofv

Who Picks up the check?

There is something that is commonly talked about when it goes into the roles of men and women about who pays for a meal? I as a male may view it differently than a female but will just give you something to think about.

For a long time it has always been the males role in a relationship to look after his female counterpart. This can mean many different things but in our case we are talking about paying for a meal. Men used to be the one that always picked up a check to take a gal out. This was due to men being the only one working in a family, providing for their wives that stayed home and took care of their children. In today’s society this is very far from the case as women have flourishing careers in many fields. So the argument that we see in this point is after dinner should the guy just pay?

Well in my opinion from different relationships I have been in and the state of things it should be a split. Now I don’t mean 50/50 split I mean it would be nice for a girl to take her guy out every once in a while. Going out has grown in price in the last couple of years. Higher fuel cost and labor has made it less pleasing about going out. With the growing costs just seems fair for a guy not to have to spend ever time he is at dinner, while his female counter part uses her money to buy lets say personal stuff.

Now this is just some food for thought. In my current relationship I do pay for every meal we go too. So keep an open mind and try to survive the times.

 

Please share with your friends and have a safe one.

 

Bonus: so here is a link on amazon for stuff to get you ready for spring and into the

 

 

The Holiday Split

Well since it is a holiday weekend I thought it was a good time to discuss how you split the time between you and your other half’s families. This is something that is usually hard at the start of a relationship because each person wants to pull their way a bit and it may start an argument. The best option is to talk about it first and not assume anything.

So probably around a week or so before a holiday you should be discussing with your new partner what they usually do for the day. Taking initiative shows you care and helps you from running into that last-minute I thought we were going here thing. This lets you know everything in advance makes for smooth sailing and you can let people know about when you are showing up. But how do you actually split the holiday?

Well for me I always think compromise. I think both people in a relationship should get to do a little bit of what they would like on this holiday and everyone could be happy. But maybe you don’t really like a certain holiday or you’re not used to doing anything with family on Easter you can negotiate for more time on a different holiday that holds more meaning to you.

The most important part of this is that both people stay happy in the relationship. Holidays can be stressful and people get turned around on one another so you need to make sure you do something to make everyone happy. And either way as long as you are with the person you love it will be a good memory to look back on.

 

Alright that was my two cents on that everyone have a good Passover and Easter weekend. As always share with your friends and have  good one.

Bonus: So Amazon is letting me put up discounted stuff now so here is a discount on a cool wireless router they had https://amzn.to/2uszIig

OR

Here is a link for a discount on exercise equipment, not sure what the readers on here are into sense dating is universal so you can always leave a comment https://amzn.to/2pUKMPF

Sharing

The most important thing in a relationship is sharing. Sharing the feelings you have for each other and feeling like you have each others back. I recently had a situation that happened in my relationship that brought things to light where sharing would have alleviated a lot of the tension that was going on.

My girlfriend recently has been going through a hard time where she doesn’t seem to want to hang out and have me come over to here parents house. I would ask what she is doing and she avoids my texts till its real late or just avoids me asking to come over. So me being human I start thinking she is cheating on me or that she isn’t very interested.

Well yesterday when I was over at her house there was a vicious argument between her parents with an abundance of yelling. She quickly gets ready and practically pushes me out the door to go to dinner. On the ride she explains about how her parents are stressed about things that are going on in their life right now and are really fighting a ton. She goes on to tell me that this has been going on a bunch and it is embarrassing for her to talk about  and she just hides away till it’s over. Which I then inquire about this happening more and she said it has been happening as long as she can remember and didn’t want me to have to be there for it.

So what can be learned from this? If she would have just shared this with me and let me in I wouldn’t have like our relationship was over. I did reassured her that I am not judging her and that being her boyfriend I support her. Relationships are all about trust and knowing the other person has your back. You need to let the other person in your life know things so you can deal with them together and not as a lone solider. Sure it may be scary and you may thing they won’t like what you tell them and if they don’t they probably aren’t right for you.

So share away with your love and let them know whats going on in your life. Its been a long week of work and I am going to go chill. Please share with your friends and have a good one.

Bonus: A great way to share is to just chill and watch some  Movies

Mental Health

This is not going to be a long post but more of a short  food for thought thing.

With all the recent things happening in the news with gun violence and mental health issues you should be aware of things your other half is doing. The purpose of this post isn’t about the whole guns are bad argument and we need to do this and that but about mental health. I will say as a legal gun owner I am open to longer wait times and what not but that is another topic.

My buddies girlfriend recently decided to take herself off of depression medication and now is looking to buy an AR-15………….. Seriously this is what problems are made of. I have tried telling my friend that this isn’t a good idea because she has family history with this stuff, but I am not sure how in-depth he will go. Seeing she is in the reserves it wouldn’t be hard to get her hands on something like this. So this poses a real big problem.

What I want you to take away from this is that you should gauge the mental health of your other half and discuss it. Many cases of mental health issues go undetected and people never know whats going on. No many of us aren’t health care professionals but doesn’t mean you can’t try to see if your partner needs to seek help. And in the case of buying a weapon that could harm themselves or others you should bring out  the tough love and tell them no. It’s hard to think these things about the people we care about but if we are going to change the world we need to start with ourselves.

 

Here is a link to books on amazon about depression and mental illness: Depression ,

 

Please share and try to get educated on things such as mental health and depression. Hope everyone stays safe and the story above is just part of one side of someones life. I am hoping to help guide this person to do the right things.

 

Whose dreams?

The problem that a lot of couples face at some point in time is, what really matters in the relationship? What compromises can we make where both people are on a level ground and there is going to be no love lost? I think that just about everything can be worked through suck as politics, watching the kids, and what to eat. Many things that you end up deciding will not make you look back and have resentment other than your dreams.

Everybody has dreams some people act on them and others just let them fall to the wayside. Some its a dream career or to make the best duct tape prom dress. Whatever your dream is if you are going to try to achieve it you should go forward full steam ahead and give it your all. But what I would like to tell you about is when your significant other doesn’t share your dream.

I have dealt with this and I am sure some of you have too, where your other half doesn’t want you to take that job or do those late night workouts. The thing is this is your life and you need to make the most out of it for you. If in your relationship you can’t be supported for doing something that is a passion of yours maybe your relationship isn’t worth it. I am not saying just go dump somebody cause you want to be a cheese dog eating champion. But sometimes we get caught up with being in a relationship that we forget about the individual we are in it. And if you get the offer of a lifetime for work and have to move to take it and are not supported then the other person doesn’t share your goals and probably doesn’t deserve you.

Well that’s my two cents on that hope everybody can work everything out. Please share and have a safe one.

Bonus: Guys here is a link to deals on cloths on Amazon

 

 

Why you need to Argue

For the most people don’t like to argue with their significant other, myself included. We all would like for everything to be gumdrops and roses all the time living on a good feeling high. But as life will have that isn’t always the case and I am going to tell you that it is good to start an argument.

How many times have you done something just to please your other half just to avoid an argument? How many times have you bitten your tongue when you should have said what was on your mind? By you keeping the peace and not saying what you probably should have said your holding everything in letting it fester. The problem with this is that all this stuff keeps piling on until you let it explode.

By stating your case to the other person in your relationship you are showing them that you also have a say. Nobody deserves to get walked over all the time. You owe it to yourself to be seen as the other half. But that is where sometimes this goes south.

By south I mean an argument. Well I am going to tell you arguments are not always bad because you can bring to light the things that are bothering you the most. All the tension and stress is not good on anyone leaving things be that bother you. If you clear the air you will feel better and maybe learn a thing or too. I know from personal experience that things that I have aired with significant others helped me to understand their side of the argument. Why did they do what they did?

By understanding the other people in the relationship you can have a deeper bond that you didn’t know wasn’t possible. So argue it out and reap the benefits. As always stay safe and share with your friends.