So you and that special someone have broken it off and nothing seems as good as it once was. Your stalking their Facebook, listening to that artist they told you about, or whatever it is that makes missing them suck a little less. Now its a few weeks later they want to get better and you think this will make all the hurt go away. STOP!!!!
One of the worst things you can do is go back to an ex lover. Sure there are many fairy tale stories of this happening and everything working out but usually this isn’t the case. You and this person broke up for some reason and that doesn’t change the situation. It might take some time but this bad part of the two of you will surface again and again pushing you apart. You have to realize that you deserve a relationship where everything is actually better.
I have made this mistake myself and let me tell you it isn’t fun and until you realize your mistake you are going to keep making the same one with this person. I kept going back to the same old person and getting bossed around day in and day out. I was miserable but I didn’t want to be without this person. This was because I didn’t think I could ever have what I had with this person again. Let say that I found that and more, and its possible that everything got even better.
There are billions of people in this world so why settle for the one that isn’t a perfect fit. Keep searching and looking to you find the person that makes you feel all special inside in the good times and the bad.
Thanks for reading and please share! Keep your head up lover.
With the drug epidemic growing to new heights daily you are probably going to run into someone with a drug addiction. You could be like I was and think I would never date someone who has mixed themselves up with this kind of thing. Well as I learned you will too that we all have our flaws and you could be missing out on a special person that is going through the fight of their life.
If you happen to run into a person that you fancy and they end up sharing this part of their life with you they need someone understanding. They need someone who is going to support them with trying to live a sober life style for the rest of their life. This could mean not drinking around them or not smoking. Any substance that can lead them down the rabbit hole into darkness.
In my experience they will also need positive fun things to do. This could be just about anything that isn’t bar hopping. You could take up skiing, bowling, lifting, or just about anything with an ing. I have seen how people shy away from people going through this because they can’t chill and have a drink. All this does is depress an addict making them feel bad about the situation they are in and pull away from everyone. But the person that is the afflict needs to also be open about how they are feeling and let people in. Which leads into one of the harder points of dating an addict.
The hardest part of dating someone with an addiction is how they don’t seem to let you in all the time. From what I have learned if you are not an addict they may feel a little insecure and only share things with their group or counselors. It may take time to have them open up to you about everything going on in their life but it will be worth it. I have learned that there are just some things having this support from others isn’t something you should take as a personal offense but something to be thankful they have. Addicts need all the support they can get to stay clean and not go down the wrong path.
To the addicts reading this you are strong and you can make it through this there are better things out there for you. I hope this post helps people dealing with this situation and not cutting and running with people suffering from addiction.
So you may have or not been in the situation you are on a “date” or “hanging out” with somebody that you just met and the hormones start flying around. You and this person just click and things are heating up. Next thing you know its decision time….. to have sex or not.
Now we all want to have sex and there is nothing wrong with doing the deed but there are some things to consider. Whatever you do the first time you meet each other sets the precedent for the rest of the relationship that the two of you have with each other. So ladies you go and let some guy have sex with you the first time you meet he is going to think this is what is going to be happening all the time I know I do. So if you don’t plan on getting down all the time I would wait for a second date.
Another thing for the ladies to consider when putting out the first date is why would this guy continue to see you? Ever hear of why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? In my experience if you just meet somebody and have sex right away that’s all they were really looking for and it’s not going too much farther.
A thing for the guys to think about is if you get lucky on the first date how many other guys have also gotten lucky on the first date? It is way easier for girls to get picked up and taken out then it is for you to ask them out. Another thought is a girl who is that easy isn’t a girl you want to take home to mom.
Now there are always exceptions to the rule and you only live once so go out and experiment. This is all food for thought so eat up until next time.
So you downloaded your new dating app and have everything set to start browsing threw potential dates/sex partners/ whatever. Now this is the fun part about the new dating scene there is no need to go to the bar to make first contact with anyone. But there is a big problem with this because people can change whatever they want online to make themselves look better then what they really are and can pull you into their trap here are some things you should consider.
Now I think everyone is guilty of the swiping of every person that comes across your screen at some point during a desperate point but this is a big no no. Why you ask? Because with most of these apps there are a limited number of swipes you have in a day and only so many close single people with relevant profiles. This means you have to be a little pickier at who you are going swipe right on.
You should always read the persons profile to see if you have something in common with them or you have some bases of who they are. This no matter what you intentions are will give you a leg up if you end up matching with this person. Another reason it is good to check what their about me says are for the profiles that state “looking for my cheating boyfriend” or something around the lines that they are not into you. This just saves you a few swipes and chances of meeting a person you actually have a shot with.
Sometimes there is no about me listed and that doesn’t give you any help at all but can signify something else, bots. Now bots are something that the ladies don’t really have to worry about because from the talks with my female friends they haven’t run into them. On top of guys are more likely to fall for some trick that the model like blonde wants to meet up and have sex. Now guys bots is a topic I would like to spend a whole post on but the short of it is a bot is a picture of a girl that is just a front for a computer program that will try and drag you to some site that is designed to get your credit card information. Please don’t fall for this and watch out for any one that messages you real quick and gives you an out of town number.
Last quick point about swiping you need to know is what I call the down shot. The down shot is that selfie where the picture is taken above the person taking it. Chances are the person is covering up their size and if somebody can’t be honest with a few pictures what else can they be hiding.
That is a few quick pointers on swiping so go out and have some fun.
Hey readers sorry for the big break, I have been working some crazy hours at my job and haven’t had time to write.
I would like to address the idea of cheating on someone stemming from the last post about how to catch a cheater. So in some religions it is talked about cheating on your husband or wife is deemed as a sin. So you may be non religious at all and thinking so why shouldn’t I cheat?
One of the key reasons you shouldn’t cheat on your better half is just basically not being a scum bag. The reasons of cheating are pretty simple there is someone else you find attractive physically or something else that revs your engine that your significant other doesn’t do but why? If you are going to cheat on them why not call them up and break up? It takes about 3 minutes of your time to just call somebody up and say well its over. That way you are not a scum bag and just a regular person moving on.
Another reason you shouldn’t cheat on somebody is you don’t want that cheater scum bag reputation. People can get a bad rap in the dating world as a cheater and most people won’t want anything to do with you. If anybody knows that they are going to invest their time in you for you just to stab them in that back they most likely won’t be making that risk.
Third and last quick reason why you shouldn’t cheat on your significant other is…….. Karma. I have seen it many times that things that people do now bite them in the ass later. You could be happy now screwing with a few people but later in life it could come back to haunt you when your sig other that you’re in love with is out shagging all the strange in the world while your home with their kids. All of this is just food for thought and to help you think about it before you end up ruining yours and some bodies life.
Bonus: to save your marriage
The on thing that nobody want’s to learn about their better half is that they have been with someone else. I have had the displeasure of this happening to me a few times so I am going to lay down some things to look for that will help catch a cheater.
- Blame You
Normally something that people who are two timing you are going to do is push the suspicions away from them. In most cases they will do is accuse you of some moral wrong doing in the relationship so that they feel you are not thinking they are cheating. I myself think this sounds crazy but after having an ex claim I was cheating and I must not be into her then turned around and cheated it made sense.
2 No Answer
So something that is also really common is not having any contact from your partner for a while. Sure there are other cases that this will happen but it could point to cheating. If the person you are in a relationship is always answering calls and texts and on their phone and all of a sudden for the past few days it takes longer to respond that’s a sign. This points to their time that was used to answer you turned into time to answer someone else. A few times this happened to me where a time I would usually text my girlfriend I suddenly couldn’t get a hold of her because she was busy. this sends up red flags because she was never to busy to answer before and I never knew she got home from work so what was she doing? This leads me to the next section…..
3 Trust your gut
If something feels off in your relationship you need to trust it. Now I am a pretty trusting person and if you are like me you think the best of the people who you are dating. But on the other side of the coin if weird things are happening you should start to evaluate what is going on. When I had a few clues and had that feeling I confronted my ex and she ended up denying it and her answers didn’t add up. That is when I knew for sure she was cheating.
This was one that I should have picked up on that I didn’t. If you are having regular sex with your partner and then none there is something up. In my case it was “oh im tired” and a various of other excuses that never happened before. Especially when we used to make love before she went to work all the time. The reason for this is the person cheating is feeling guilty for what they are doing and can’t stand to be with you that way.
The number one way to tell if someone is cheating is their phone. IF you have access to your partners phone and your suspect them of cheating it’s probably on their phone. Most people slip up and forgot to deleted some message or some picture that is incriminating. Also things that you can look at are what they are liking on Facebook or who is commenting on all their posts. These things all tie together the point of if your other half tweaks when you just pick their phone up they are hiding something and you shouldn’t just brush it off.
I hope this was somewhat helpful and can help others from prolonging the pain of being put on. I have had this happen a few times and it is not fun. So keep your eyes open and try not to let love blind you so much.
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A situation that we can get ourselves into once in a while is a long distance relationship. For the most part I think these are kind of pointless unless it’s for something like short-lived like college or something where it wasn’t like a permanent distance. But if it was how do you do that?
Something that is great about the age of technology is how connected we can be with everyone around us. If you find yourself in a long distance relationship you can call text and face time your significant other and still get to interact with them. Apps like snap chat let you share all your little moments of life that you would like to share with someone special that you would probably zombie out together on at home anyway. They even make sex toys now a days controlled by your other half so phone sex is kinda a thing of the past.
A best practice for people living apart but staying together are frequent visits. I had a friend that dated a girl who lived 5 hours away and the way he said the magic stayed alive as that he visited her as much as he could. By visiting her he instilled that he still cared and that feeling of longing for attention and affection wasn’t getting time to boil over. But there is still one trick that supersedes every rule in the book.
You most importantly need to trust their person you are in a relationship with. The same way relationships work in normal relationships work with far apart ones. If you trust your significant other you know that they will always be there for you no matter what. I think that the worst thing you can do is worry about what the other person is doing all the time and say there are members of the opposite sex always around. People that care about you will set boundaries and make it known that they have someone one back home that cares about them.
Well that is my tidbit for the day. Thanks for all the new followers and sorry I haven’t been posting started a new job that is kicking my butt! Please share with your friends and have a safe one.
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Something I ran into through my years of dating was if I should change my Facebook status or not. It’s usually the same scenario you meet someone and hit it off now you’re dating and they add you online and you feel the pressure to change your status to show your taken. What I am going to tell you is don’t just jump on the band waggon.
The reason I think you shouldn’t just go change your status is if it’s a fresh relationship you don’t know this person that well why jump the gun and tell the world about it. I think people all too often want to say hey look at me and don’t think about if it doesn’t work out right away. Nobody likes to see the person in and out of relationships for the next six months so why not leave a little mystery. You can just change it to not show anything about a relationship status. This way you don’t look like the loser that can’t keep someone happy or some skank.
Some may think your trying to hide something or you’re not proud to date them but sometimes people knowing ruins things. For example I dated a girl that I worked with once that became a superior to me and could have lost her job if work found out we were dating. You need to think about how social media changes things around and could ruin a relationship for the two of you.
That is my two cents on Facebook and statuses for now. And especially with all the negative news on Facebook maybe your better with less media than not!
Thanks for reading and following share with your friends!!
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So we have all been there thinking do I say those three words or not? I was actually just there myself in my current relationship and let me tell you it felt great to get it off my chest.
I am not sure when this game of chicken of being the first one to say I love you to someone, but seems like that’s always the case. Everyone is always playing around it thinking how do you end the night? Do they feel the same way? What if they don’t? The truth of the matter is who cares?
I think no matter what if you are feeling in love with someone tell them. If your relationship is that much tilted in your way where you feel more than them then they don’t deserve you. Don’t you want to be in a relationship where there is as much love as your putting out coming back to you? I think its good to just say it and see what happens let love ring!!!
Alright that is my public service announcement for the day! So sack up and tell someone special how you feel.
……. ohh and by the way my special someone said I know me too.
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Something my college prep teacher once said was never to room with your best friend, has stuck with me all these years. Hanging out with someone all the time is fine and dandy but when they put their tooth-brush on the sink and leave a mess that bothers you it might not be a good thing. That is why I think it is important to always test living with someone you plan on marrying before you tie the knot.
Sure many people are doing this now a days but I still hear about people being old school and waiting. A key example would be my friend’s sister. She married her husband not ever-living long-term together and she can’t stand a lot of things her husband does. Sure there is love there but there also is stress that might not have been if she knew that living with this person was going to not be so pleasant. This just shows the old way isn’t always the best.
With the divorce rate being so high lately something needs to change. Why not trial your living together to see if it will work being with this person night and day. There may be things that you learn about your significant other by being so close all the time that when you went home just weren’t present. Kind of like I have a habit of doing weird things when I’m asleep like steal all the pillows on the bed.
So try it out or not but think of how expensive a divorce is and maybe a few months living in sin is worth saving the aggravation later..
Hey readers thanks again for the views and share with your friends…. Also if you could comment about anything you would like to read about that would be cool. If I have some knowledge on it I would be glad to share, or try to find out for you.
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So once upon a time I dated the “hot” girl at work that had a couple of kids. Going into this relationship I was the typical young dumb 20 something that didn’t think about the commitment that went into dating someone with children. Here are a few things that may help you if you’re considering dating someone who comes with a few extra human beings.
The first thing I learned was that no matter what happens for the most part your always second. Kids take up a lot of a parents time and they usually come first. If you can’t deal with dropping kids off at school and making sure there is always a baby sitter then dating somebody with kids is not for you. You need to realize going into this relationship that these kids mean the world to this person you and they need care all the time. So you are an important person in their life you just aren’t thee most important.
From the first lesson you can learn the second thing I found out quick, you aren’t going to go out often. When I dated this person I was around 22 so prime drinking age. I would want to go to the bars or out partying with my friends and she wanted to stay home. What I didn’t at the time was she had a job to do as a mother and going out all the time didn’t fit into that. So if you are cool with Netflix and chilling at home a majority of the time you could withstand this relationship.
Another thing that is important that you need to talk about is how the kids will view you? Are you the new mommy or daddy? Or just Frank mommy’s friend? This also involves if you are going to discipline the kids at all. This is something that people can go either way on. Don’t hit my kid, don’t yell at them, and so on. What I ended up being was mommy’s boy friend and the adult in the situation so it was agreed upon that I would correct them if I saw them doing something that wasn’t right. I think this would have been a good situation if we kept going because the kids did have their own father and I wasn’t there to replace him.
One of the last things you should know about being in a relationship with someone with kids issss…. the kids will grow on your and if you break up with this person your breaking up with them too. We all know we don’t go into something hoping for it to fail but in the case of breaking a kids heart you need to think about all the outcomes. My exes kids end up messaging me here and there but for the most part I think I was the one that lost my little friends.
So that’s it for this post so I don’t end up rambling on about an ex lover. I would like to thank all the people who started following the blog and urge everyone to share with your friends.
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